The Das Munshi Code

No! The title of this post is not a typo! It is "The Das Munshi Code". This is a tribute to the absolute brilliance of the man Mr Priyaranjan Dasmunsi, Union Minister for Information and Broadcasting. Mr Dasmunshi has directed the Central Board of Film Certification not to clear the move "The Da Vinci Code". He has hinted that he was aware of a political conspiracy to destabilize the Government by creating a controversy over the film.

How could Mr Dasmunshi find out that a deep rooted conspiracy was at play behind this movie? Definitely there is a traitor around who has leaked the information. Or maybe Mr Dasmunshi is brilliance personified, that he could look through such a closely guarded secret. I guess it is okay now to let the cat out of the bag. Yes there is a conspiracy at play. Let me outline to you how the conspiracy was hatched to destabilize the UPA government, who the key players were, how it was executed.

The Conspiracy
In 2002 itself the NDA government knew that they would not come back to power in the 2004 general elections. No matter how much India Shone, no matter how well Indian Economy performed, no matter what alliances they made, they were doomed. Having accepted this as a fact, the top leaders of NDA decided that if they were going to loose power, then they should have a plan which will destabilize the Congress led govt that would come to power. The task of making and executing such a plan was given to the GenNext of BJP. At that time the most illuminating leader in BJP GenNext was Gujarat Chief Minister Narendra Modi. Modi was given this highly daunting task. Being a religious zealot, Modi decided that such a plan had to involve religion. Over the next 3 months there were lot many high power candlestine meetings. Leaders of Sangh Parivar were consulted, Vishwa Hindu Parishad was roped in for support, Shiv Sena had already pledged moral and material support.

After lot of deliberations everybody agreed on the plan. To find an author who would write a book which will create ripples through the Christian world. Once the book is immensely popular, pursue a big time director and actor to make a movie out of it. As such a movie would hurt the sentiments of the Christians in India, it would create an uncomfortable situation for the UPA govt. The ensuing uproar over the release of movie would destabilize the Congress (Sonia) led government. This was the grand plan of the conspirators. This is the real story behind The Da Vinci Code. And they almost got away with it! But what they did not anticipate was the wily Priyaranjan Dasmunshi, who with is shrewd brain saw through the whole conspiracy and is now withholding the release of this movie.

Sounds absurd? Well it can't be more absurd than Mr Dasmunshi hinting that he was aware of a political conspiracy to destabilize the Government by creating a controversy over the film! Well my dear friends its all about scoring brownie points! Don't understand ? What I mean is its all about winning favors, looking good in high commands eyes, isn't it?

Mr Dasmunshi does not stop there! He lets us on another great accomplishment of his. He said a cautious approach was the best towards controversial films. He said he cleared `Rang De Basanti' after viewing it five times!!! FIVE TIMES ? Well I can infer two reasons why Mr Dasmunshi had to see the movie five times. It could be because he didn't understand it the first four times. But we have already established that he is a very shrewd and wily character with loads of brains (after all he saw through the BJP-Sangh-VHP-Shiv Sena conspiracy ;) ), so the other reason could be that he liked it so much that he saw it again and again and again ....

What do you think ?